Mr Monk and the Pumpkin Problem
by livingdeadgirl
Summary: Halloween fic! Monk helps Benjy carve a pumpkin...wackiness ensues.


Title: Mr. Monk and the Pumpkin Problem

Author: Kora

Rating: PG

Disclaimer: The following characters belong to USA and other peoples. I am simply using the characters for my own twisted enjoyment.

Author's Note: This is my first MONK fic, my good friend MonkChic24 _really_ wanted me to do a Monk fic for some time so I wrote this, it isn't that much of a Monk/Sharona fic but the idea was too cute to pass up and heck - I needed to write a Halloween fic! :-)

Hopefully I don't butcher the characters too badly.

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"Adrian, you promised to help him weeks ago, you can't back out now!" Sharona Fleming hissed at her boss, Adrian Monk who kept growing paler and paler with each passing second.

"I - I know that but…it's going to be," his hands tossed through the air effortlessly as he searched for the right word, almost reluctantly settling on, "Gooey."

"I don't care if it's going to be grimy or scummy," Sharona seethed, causing him to flinch at the implication of those particular nasty adjectives, "You're going to do it because you promised him. He's actually been looking forward to this."

"What's that supposed to mean?" Monk asked, hurt.

__

That I can't believe someone wants to put up with the trouble of being around you and your eccentricities in an attempt to have fun, was what she thought but at the look on his face she immediately felt repentant. It wasn't Monk's fault that he was so sensitive about certain things. And besides, she 'put up' with it all the time and she could admit that there had been moments of pure fun.

Monk could be fun.

This realization made a wry smile take her face as she cooed sympathetically in answer, "It means he wants to spend time with you. He likes you."

Monk's head rolled around his shoulders lightly as if he was trying to become comfortable with this revelation. He let out a sigh, "That's - That's nice."

"Yes, it is. So please do this, Adrian. Besides, like I said earlier and I will repeat again for your benefit, you agreed to it weeks ago, you can't back out now."

He let out a breath, "I can't believe I agreed to help him carve a Halloween pumpkin…when did this take place?"

"When we were working on the last case," she sighed, pushing a strand of her thick curly blonde hair behind one ear, "Remember? You were looking over some paperwork here, Benjy came by, mentioned Halloween coming up - how he was going to need a pumpkin, wanted your help carving…"

"I still don't remember…"

"You were pretty involved in your work. I think your response was a mumbled, 'Uh-huh, yeah, sure, whatever' or something like that. Most of it was muffled by the papers you were burying yourself in."

"Well there," Monk gasped, practically laughing with relief, "See? I was distracted, it wasn't a real promise."

The look she shot him was so deadly that he merely squeaked, "Where's the carving knife?"

Sharona beamed, stare of death gone, "I set it all up in the kitchen. I laid out newspapers, the knife, design patterns, a bowl to put the pumpkin goop in, even have gloves you can wear."

The mention of gloves seemed to lighten Monk's concerns considerably, "Protective eye wear?"

"You need goggles too…" Sharona trailed off as she now received her own look, she raised her hands in surrender, "Okay, fine. Goggles it is. Should I get an apron for this 'science experiment' too?"

"That would be great!" Monk replied, not catching the sarcasm.

Sharona rolled her eyes and walked away.

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Monk looked more prepared for operative surgery than he did for carving a Halloween pumpkin. He wore goggles, plastic gloves, and a large apron. When Benjy came home from school, carting the large gourd with him, he looked Monk up and down and couldn't help but laugh, "Are you going into outer space?!"

"Benjy! Mind your manners," Sharona snapped, wagging a finger his way, "If Mr. Monk is nice enough to help you with this, then you should be nice enough to-"

"Yeah, yeah, I know, I'm sorry," Benjy said, shrugging off his backpack and putting the large orange handful down on top of the newspapers covering the counter.

Sharona shook her head, ruffling his hair and pulling him close, "What am I going to do with you, mister?"

"Muh-om." Benjy whined, blushing slightly at her affection but still hugging her back. She kissed the top of his head and drew away, smiling, "I'll leave you boys to it."

She turned to walk away, then looked back once more, remarking, "Good luck", though it was unclear as to which one she meant the phrase to more.

Benjy sighed, "Guess we'd better get started…"

"Ah - Benjy…um…I wanted to ask you-"

Benjy cut him off, all ready knowing the question, "I asked you to help me because Mom always brags about how - uh - exact you are. I figured you'd be able to help me carve a really good design."

Monk seemed pleased and slightly touched by this response, his shoulders lifting slightly as he stood taller, "Thank you, Benjy."

"Welcome, now let's do this," Benjy said and looked through a few designs on the counter, picking up one now and then and asking Monk what he thought of it. Each time Monk would find some fault.

"The eyes are too far apart."

"There's only one tooth…its…unnatural."

"Why is the nose a triangle?"

"That…that scares me…"

Benjy sighed, frustrated after a time, "Well what do you suggest?"

"How about we be really creative and not carve it at all? We can leave it just the way it is." Monk supplied, a glimmer of hope in his eye.

Sharona, who had been trying to look busy by walking back and forth in front of the Kitchen, stopped in front of the doorway, hands on hips, "Adrian, just pick a face and carve it!"

Monk squirmed, uncomfortable and pointed to one, "I suppose that'll do."

Benjy smiled encouragingly, "This one is great."

Again Monk seemed flattered as he took the design and a marker, prepared to draw the face on. He turned the pumpkin in his gloved hands, frowning, "Benjy…why did you chose _this_ one?"

Benjy frowned, "Why? What's wrong with it?"

"It's…not symmetrical. There's a dip here…and here…and right here…and here's a scratch and…god, its pock marked…"

"Looks fine to me," Benjy said, looking it over.

But Monk's finely attuned attention to detail was going crazy, "And the stem…its cut all wrong…jagged…and this shade of orange…"

"God, Adrian!" Sharona cried, driven to edge of her nerves again. She gave up the pretense of not caring what they were doing and stalked into the room. She pulled the pumpkin out of his hands and set it down, her steely eyes locking with his, "Just draw the deign on it!"

Monk shifted from foot to foot. Normally he would put up more of an argument, characteristically stubborn, but Benjy's hopeful eyes urged him to listen to Sharona.

He lowered the marker, looking at the drawing then to the pumpkin, then back again. He very carefully began to trace the design, working slowly, making sure each mark was meticulous. Benjy looked at the clock now and then, wondering how long this was going to take. 

Monk was practically sweating, his concentration focused completely to the work before him. Occasionally he would wince, worried he'd made a mistake. Sometimes he would stop and go back, touching up on parts. Eventually the images was drawn and he drew back, studying it, "That…looks good."

"It's perfect," Benjy assured him, eager to move on, "Let's cut the top out."

Benjy handed the knife to Monk, who seemed apprehensive to take hold of the knife handle. He seceded eventually, raising the weapon above the pumpkin. But each time he came to bring it down to the top he paused and drew back. Then he would repeat the motion, lowering the knife tip just to the skin then rethinking the action and drawing it back. Sharona, who had been standing to the sidelines, watched this over and over and looked about ready to tear her hair out, "Adrian! What are you-"

"I want to make the first…incision just right…don't want to-"

Sharona snapped the knife out of his hand and plunged it deep into the top of the pumpkin with such force that not only Monk, but Benjy, jumped. She glared at Monk, spacing out," Just. Carve. It."

Monk swallowed and took hold of the knife handle, slowly drawing it up so he could begin carving out the top. He moved agonizingly slow, obviously wanting it to be perfectly circular. Benjy yawned, growing tired of waiting as Monk slowly worked the knife up and down, moving gradually around the pumpkin.

At last he seemed satisfied and with great care removed the top of the pumpkin. A trail of goo and seeds followed, attached to the top and Monk looked ready to faint but Benjy's eyes lit up, "This is the fun part!'

"Yeah," Monk said, his eyes on the goo and seeds, looking as if he was about to be sick, "Fun."

Sharona, who couldn't help but be amused, turned to her son, "Benjy, how about you do this part."

Monk shot Sharona a look of such overwhelming thanks that she couldn't help but turn a shade of pink. Benjy tore away at the pumpkin, happy to finally be _doing_ something. He took to the project whole heartedly, spooning out lump after lump of bright orange pulp inside, white slippery seeds flying about. 

Monk shielded himself as best he could, relieved to at least have the gloves, apron, and goggles to protect him. As he watched he couldn't help but ask aloud, "How much bacteria do you think builds up inside one of these things?"

"Not as much as after Halloween when they rot." Benjy supplied, laughing at the stricken look on Monk's face. Sharona clapped her hands together loudly, disapproving, "Benjy!"

"Aw come on, Mom, I'm just teasing him!"

"It's not nice! What do we say?"

He flashed Monk a contrite look, "Sorry…"

"It's - it's okay, it…was just a joke," Monk said, giving the boy a reassuring smile. Benjy grinned, "See, Mom? He's cool."

If nothing else, this comment truly elevated Monk's mood. Once the pumpkin had been hollowed out Monk once again had to take the knife and carve out the shapes to make the face. 

His hands kept fluttering around, trying to figure out where to grip the pumpkin without touching the inside. Sharona eventually gave him such a glare that he gulped and took a shaky hold of the pumpkin rim, making a face as he gripped it, lowering the knife. He once again worked away at each piece with such precision that time seemed to crawl by.

Benjy kept eyeing his video game system, wondering if he could get a few levels in while Monk worked but his mother gave him a sideways look, suggesting that idea was out. He would have to wait.

Though she did begin to nettle Monk again, "Adrian, just hurry up, wouldja? We're entering the second Ice Age over here."

"I can't…it has to be…"

"I know, perfect, well let me clue you in, it's just two triangle eyes, a triangle nose and a mouth with one tooth in it - it's not rocket science."

"Yeah but...the mouth…it still bothers me….why does this pumpkin's face have to have such hygiene problems? I mean, maybe we should just carve in a few more teeth to make its appearance more balanced…"

"My fist'll make you more balance if you don't hurry up!" She threatened, but half way thorough the threat she collapsed into giggles, the idea too absurd.

Monk looked at her as if she had gone crazy and she merely shook his head, patting his shoulder, "Oh Adrian…I'm just kidding…"

"She probably got it from me," Benjy said proudly, then narrowed his eyes at his mother, mocking her earlier tone, "That's not nice, Mom! What do we say?"

Sharona, who had been laughing for a while now, caught her breath, "I'm sorry."

Monk didn't seem to hear this though, instead his gaze was focused on Sharona's hand which still rested on his shoulder. He could feel the heat of it through his suit jacket. This realization caused something to shoot thorough his system he hadn't felt in years and his eyes caught hers. 

He swallowed, then looked away, shrugging, "It's okay. I'm…I'm cool."

Sharona looked at Monk as he avoided her eyes, lowering her hand from his shoulder, what had just happened?

Benjy, not picking up on anything, laughed himself, "See, Mom? What did I tell you? Cool."

"Yeah…" Sharona whispered when she noticed the last piece had fallen away, "Adrian! You did it!"

Monk looked down at the pumpkin and couldn't help but grin, pleased, "Yeah…I guess I did. It's…done."

"I'll go get a candle to place inside it." Sharona said and walked away, still thinking about the strange moment that had passed between them.

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"Shouldn't - Shouldn't you put a plate under it or-"

"Let me do this, Adrian," Sharona chided as she lowered the tea candle into the base of the pumpkin and then pulled out a lighter, lowering it down into the pumpkin to light. She flicked the switch a few times before finally managing to get a spark to light the wick.

Once it was lit she drew back and put the top into place. Light shone out, making the pumpkin's face glow with fiendish happiness. Sharona clicked off the lights and the trio sat back, looking at their creation. Sharona drew Benjy close, Monk to one side, "You two did a great job."

"Yeah, I think so too, what about you, Mr. Monk?" Benjy asked.

Monk opened his mouth and Sharona waited to hear the first criticism. But instead of hearing 'this is off ' or 'the light isn't coming out of each eye proportionally', he shocked her with a simple, "Yes, we did a good job, Benjy."

She looked over at him, stunned as Benjy laughed, "What I tell you? Cool."

He pulled away from his mother and turned to Monk, "Maybe we can hang out again sometime."

"Sounds…good." Monk replied, slowly, as if thinking about it.

Benjy, who picked up on the hidden meaning, supplied, "Don't worry, next time I'll chose something less challenging and less…gooey."

Monk's relief was obvious, "Sounds very good."

Sharona laughed, "What am I going to do with the _two_ of you?"

"How about put our pumpkin on display?" Benjy suggested.

And that's exactly what she did.


End file.
